


Cross My Heart and Hope To Die

by Tarlan



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-08
Updated: 2005-10-08
Packaged: 2017-10-21 04:09:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/220744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney makes a promise to a very drunk John Sheppard... who remembers it the following morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cross My Heart and Hope To Die

**Author's Note:**

> Nell (Ocean_blue) put this plot bunny up for sale... I decided to buy :-)  
>  _The idea is, what if John Sheppard was drunk, very, very drunk, and Rodney was trying to get him home and into bed. Of course John is being stubborn likes drunk ppl can be. John finally agrees to go home if Rodney will have sex with him. Thinking that because John is drunk he doesn't mean it, Rodney agrees. When they get home, John tries to start something, but then promptly passes out. Rodney is relieved and after putting John to bed leaves. Now, when John wakes up, he remembers Rodney''s promise and decides to hold him to it._
> 
> PLUS, Huntress asked for a fic starting with the line: _John Sheppard was a slut._

John Sheppard was a slut. That was the only word Rodney could use to describe the Major as he flirted with one person after another at the party thrown to celebrate the first harvest on the mainland. What amazed Rodney most was that Sheppard was an equal opportunity slut, soliciting anything that moved as long as it was halfway human and female. No doubt, if that female Wraith was still around then even she might have been propositioned. Rodney shook his head and decided to intervene when Sheppard started making moves on Kavanagh though, to be fair, the man did look like a woman from the back with his long hair flowing untethered for a change.

"You are so drunk, Major." Rodney grinned as he grabbed Sheppard by the arm and steered him aside. "Time to go bye-bye, Major," he chortled but Sheppard seemed to have other ideas.

"No...I really think she might like me," he stated with the pathetic seriousness of the extremely drunk.

"She is a _he_ , Major...and even if a _he_ was on your hit list, you really don't want to touch that one. I know where he's been and it's not a pretty sight."

"Rodney. You're maligning the woman I intend to marry," he slurred with a glare that failed spectacularly when Sheppard collapsed into a fit of giggles.

"Rodney?"

"Elizabeth!"

"Is everything all right here?"

"Ahh...I think Major Sheppard has had a little too much of the happy juice."

"You think?" She asked as she stared at the inane grin on John's face.

"I was trying to be polite," Rodney frowned when his words sent a fresh fit of giggles through Sheppard, his eyes widening when someone goosed him. As there was only Sheppard within hands reach, other than Elizabeth who had both of her hands wrapped around a glass of dubious content, Rodney turned a glare in Sheppard's direction before looking back at Elizabeth. She was biting back a grin of her own.

"Perhaps you ought to escort Major Sheppard back to his quarters."

"Excellent idea," Rodney agreed wholeheartedly, finally finding the excuse he needed to get away. After all, he had far more important work to do than hang around some social gathering watching the grunts try to fondle the scientists and Athosians. He had barely managed to escape the clutches of one particular female marine, Corporal Jansky, whom he had been convinced was lesbian until she grabbed his ass and stuck her tongue in his ear, whispering lurid details of what she planned to do with him when she finally got him alone. He shuddered at the very thought even though he was not averse to a little rough and tumble on occasion. Just not _that_ much rough.

Of course, Sheppard had other ideas and refused to budge. It did not help matters when Bates came over, drunkenly demanding that Rodney unhand his CO. By the time Rodney had placated Bates--mainly by sicking Corporal Jansky onto him--Sheppard had gone wandering back towards the oblivious Kavanagh.

Rodney caught up just as Sheppard started running his hands through the long strands.

"Nice hair," Sheppard breathed with that inane drunken grin still plastered across his handsome face. Kavanagh whipped his head around but Rodney rescued Sheppard with mere split seconds to spare.

"Kavanagh," he stated politely.

"McKay." His eyes had narrowed in suspicion.

Rodney gave the sweetest smile he could manage under the circumstances, silently praying that Kavanagh would not think it had been him touching his pony tail. He steered Sheppard away towards the nearest exit, breathing a sigh of relief as they passed into the corridor beyond--until Sheppard stopped abruptly. Rodney walked straight into the back of him and barely managed to keep his feet as Sheppard teetered on the verge of falling flat on his face.

Perhaps agreeing to escort Sheppard from the party was not such a great idea after all, he thought, especially when Sheppard's arms wrapped around his waist and he striped a wet path with his tongue up Rodney's neck to his ear.

"You taste good, Rodney."

"Healthy living," he stated, forcing aside one arm and placing one of his own around Sheppard's waist. Slowly, they staggered towards the transporter but Sheppard paused on the threshold, refusing to budge.

"Wanna go back to the party...find that girl with the long hair and--"

"Oh no you don't, Major. That was no girl."

"Not a girl?" Sheppard blinked several times before a slow-building grin covered his face. "Don't care," he stated, and then he froze, staring into Rodney's face. "You got such pretty eyes."

"So drunk," Rodney reiterated solemnly and tried to manhandle Sheppard into the transporter but the man was far stronger than he appeared and became an immovable object once he set his mind to it. Sheppard planted his feet apart and grabbed the door frame on both sides.

"Not going."

"Yes...you...are...Major." Rodney tried to use brute force but Sheppard was as solid as if he had been cast in stone. Rodney decided on a new tactic. "Bet you still have some Jack Daniels stashed in your room."

Sheppard's eyes glazed over even more in concentration. "Nope..." That slow-burning grin reappeared. "But I've got a big bed. A very big bed." His grin turned to a sloppy leer. "Big enough for two."

"I'm flattered, Major, but..." Rodney narrowed his eyes in thought. "Maybe I need to see the size of that bed before I decide."

"Oh...it's plenty big enough for the two of us." Sheppard leaned in and planted a sloppy kiss right on Rodney's mouth, stunning him momentarily. "Have sex with me, Rodney. I'll have you screaming in echssy...echsas...joy before the night is over."

Rodney lifted one corner of his mouth in a smile, knowing the only sound would be that of Sheppard snoring as soon as his head hit the pillow. "Let's go then, Major."

Shepard took one step into the transporter booth and then stopped again. He turned abruptly, almost tripping over his own feet in the process.

"Whoa! Little unsteady on your feet there. Wouldn't want you to have an accident and ruin Carson's night."

Sheppard ignored him. "If we're gonna have sex then you should call me John."

"Fine...John. Let's get to your room then and check out that bed."

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die," Rodney responded with as much sincerity as he could muster at short notice.

Sheppard gave him his most winning smile and staggered into the booth. Seconds later they were staggering down the corridor leading to Sheppard's room. Silently thanking Carson for giving him the ATA gene, Rodney mentally commanded open Sheppard's door as they approached, half-dragging Sheppard inside. Within a matter of two steps, Sheppard went from being a limpet hanging onto Rodney for dear life to an octopus with hands everywhere. They burrowed under his shirt, rubbing across his nipples, and delved into his pants, making him squeak with surprise as the strong fingers wrapped around his soft penis. Somehow, Rodney managed to extricate himself from the wandering hands, especially when the second hand joined the first down Rodney's pants, but this time grabbing his ass and trying to press a finger into his anus while Sheppard's tongue tried to play tonsil hockey.

"Too many clothes, Major," Rodney stated breathlessly, taking several steps back. Boy, he did not want to be Sheppard tomorrow if he recalled any of this. Rodney watched as Sheppard tore off his clothes, flinging them in all directions, his mouth going dry as flesh was quickly exposed, revealing the dark tangle of chest hair on smooth, slightly tanned flesh. Then the pants dropped, followed by the briefs, and Sheppard stood before Rodney in all his naked glory, with cock standing proud, jutting from a bed of thick, dark curls, its head already glistening with precome.

Rodney pushed Sheppard back onto the bed and told him in his sexiest voice that he needed to use the facilities before he leaped into bed with him. Retreating to the bathroom, Rodney gave it five minutes for good measure and when he returned, he found Sheppard dead to the world, snoring softly. With a snuffled laugh, Rodney drew up the covers and mentally dimmed the light, sitting with Sheppard until he was certain the man was not about to vomit in his sleep. He left just before what passed for dawn on Atlantis, heading back to his room in the vain hope that he would be allowed to sleep away most of the day.

***

John screwed his eyes tight as he stepped into the brightly lit corridor. As he walked towards the transporter, images from the night before began to dance before his mind's inner eye and he cringed as he recalled his momentary fixation with Kavanagh's hair.

"Damn, I must have had a lot to drink," he mumbled in horror, but it was not until he stepped into the commissary and saw Rodney seated at the far table that he recalled the final part of the evening, and the feel of Rodney's warm flesh in his hands; the silken hair on his chest, the tightness of a nipple, the way his cock had began to firm in John's hand as his fingers skimmed the curve of his ass and probed between the cheeks for that small, hidden entrance. Suddenly, he felt flushed and excited, grateful for the baggy army-issue pants that would conceal the hard erection he now sported.

This was not the first time he had thought of Rodney and sex in a single sentence but never before had he the tactile memories to build his increasing desire upon...and Rodney had promised to have sex with him. He remembered that quite clearly...'Cross my heart and hope to die.'

John sauntered over to the food line and grabbed some Athosian fruit bread, a juice and what passed for coffee, before heading over to Rodney's table. He placed his tray on the table in front of Rodney and sat down, never taking his eyes off the astrophysicist who was also his team mate and, possibly, the best friend he'd ever had--though he did not plan to admit that to Rodney.

"Major."

John took a bite of his bread, swallowed, and let an evil grin slide over his face. "People who plan to have sex together tend to be on first name terms."

Rodney inhaled his coffee and started to choke, much to John's delight as he loved to see Rodney all flustered. Eventually, Rodney spluttered out a weak, "What did you say?"

He made Rodney wait while he drank half his juice. "Oh, I think I was pretty clear last night...and I seem to recall you making a certain promise.... _Cross my heart and hope to die_."

"I...You...We...But you were drunk."

"And now I'm sober...and I want you to make good on your promise."

"You...can't mean..?"

"How about this evening? I'll pick you up for dinner. We can take a picnic out to the West pier, listen to some music, do a little heavy petting and then head back to my nice big bed for sex."

Rodney stared at him in open-mouth shock before his head whipped around to check the tables close by, terrified that someone had overheard. He laughed nervously.

"Oh...very good, Major. You nearly had me there."

John put on his most serious expression. "Oh, I'm looking forward to having you, Rodney. I'll see you at dinner."

He pushed up from the table and walked off, leaving what remained of his breakfast for Rodney to dispose of--probably internally as Rodney was partial to the Athosian fruit bread. Silently, he ticked off a list of things he planned to locate for his date tonight, including the services of Bates and his gun if that was what it took to get Rodney out of his laboratory later.

***

John arrived on the threshold of Rodney's laboratory at dinner time, with a basket in one hand and a blanket tucked under his arm. The last time he had done this was when he entertained Chaya but this was no lust-driven fling. The man he hoped to seduce was more important to him than any person he had ever met before and just the thought of touching Rodney again, intimately, sent shivers racing through him.

Bates was standing guard outside, having been ordered to keep Rodney in his sights at all times today. There was no way John was going to let Rodney renege on his promise but he would never be able to track down the sneaky scientist if he made a run for it. It was a big city, especially when that particular scientist knew how to disable the internal sensors. Of course, some people might be concerned about his latest obsession except John happened to know Rodney was interested. He had spent ten minutes listening to the man murmuring in his sleep on the last mission, caught in what was obviously a highly erotic dream starring someone with the name _Major_ and _John_. As John could think of no one else who fit the description, especially relating to the hair, he had to assume it was him in Rodney's night time fantasies.

Bates snapped to attention. "Doctor McKay is in the lab, sir."

"Thank you, Bates. I'll take it from here."

"Yes, sir."

The sergeant left with a smirk covering his face, having enjoyed intimidating McKay all afternoon and into the evening. John grinned. Maybe Rodney would not be so quick to throw Jansky at Bates in future. He opened the door with a single thought, silently smirking as he doubted he would ever get enough of the power trip this ATA gene gave him here in the city. Popping his head round the door frame, he spotted Rodney immediately.

"Your date is here, Rodney," Zelenka called out, and Rodney winced visibly as everyone in the laboratory turned to gawp first at Rodney, then at John, and then back at Rodney. Whispers and muffled giggles accompanied Rodney to the door.

"I'm busy, Major."

"You want me to shoot you again...sans personal shield."

"Oh my...You've been speaking with the French Canadians again."

"Peut-être."

"The answers still no, Major. I have work--" He squeaked when John grabbed his arm and dragged him from the laboratory.

"When have I ever taken no for an answer?" He managed to go about five steps before Rodney put the brakes on. "Oh, come on, Rodney. I've got some of your favorites in here...Chicken a la MRE, muffins with real chunks of chocolate and Athos-"

"Real chocolate?"

"Yep. Seems Lizzie was holding out of us but Grodin found her secret stash."

Rodney's eyes narrowed. "If Grodin found the stash then why have you got..."

"If I tell you, I'll have to kill you."

"That'll put a damper on the date...unless you're into necrophilia."

John raised both eyebrows suggestively, sniggering softly as the horror crossed Rodney's face. The blue eyes narrowed when Rodney caught on that he was being teased.

"You are such a--"

He yelped as John tugged on his arm, catching him in an unguarded moment and getting them moving again, keeping up the forward momentum until he had part-dragged Rodney into the transporter. He hit the indicator for the west pier, the doors sliding closed and moments later, they opened again in another part of Atlantis. Rodney stepped out with a sigh, finally resigned to the picnic part of their date. As soon as they reached the spot John had chosen, Rodney grabbed the basket from his arm, set it down on the ground and started delving inside, dragging out items of culinary interest.

"Not bad." He looked up, talking around a mouthful of muffin.

John smiled indulgently, accepting one of the muffins in the sure knowledge that it would be the only one he got out of the four he had snaffled from Grodin. Still, as long as Rodney was happy. Oh yes, he thought as Rodney started humming softly to himself. He's happy.

It was almost a shame to turn on the small PDA loaded with a not so romantic play list of Duran Duran and other greats from the New Romantic era but it was all he could beg and borrow at short notice, though John quite liked the Classix Nouveaux tracks. Something quite punchy about them, almost punk. They all sounded a little tinny through the tiny speaker, the PDA being better suited to headphones, but as it was only background noise it hardly mattered. Plus, Rodney didn't seem to mind, humming along on occasion even though John had pegged him for a Classic FM kind of guy, especially after learning that Rodney had played piano as a kid.

Fully fed and with a glass of Athosian wine to mellow him, Rodney smiled into the distant horizon as the sun set, casting orange and red streaks across the sky, reflecting back from the almost still ocean as 'Together in Electric Dreams' played out quietly. He lay back, stretching out as the sun's disc disappeared below the horizon, staring up as the first stars appeared. John pushed the basket aside and laid down beside him, his hand reaching across to interlock fingers with Rodney's.

He knew he shouldn't compare this moment with that time spent with Chaya but he could not help noticing both the similarities and the differences. Both were beautiful individuals, intelligent and witty, though Rodney's wit did tend more towards a caustic sarcasm that was guaranteed to entertain no matter whom it was aimed at. Yet, there was something more solid and real about Rodney, some indefinable presence that had gotten under John's skin, creating an itch he was so desperate to scratch that he had tried finding a salve in so many other places before realizing he could go direct to the source for relief.

Deciding he had spent enough time looking up at the glittering sky and thinking about what he wanted, John rolled onto his side, arm crossing over Rodney's strong body and lips locking onto the strangely endearing, crooked smile. Those lips parted in surprise and John acted fast, tongue slipping in to taste and touch and lick at the hot interior. The richness of the wine blended perfectly with the chocolate and John murmured in approval, his hand wriggling beneath the tight blue shirt to stroke across soft, warm flesh. His lips slid away from the enticing mouth, trailing down the side of Rodney's throat, feeling the faint rasp of bristles against his face. He moved lower, not wanting to risk a case of whisker rash, his mouth latching onto the soft skin at the base of Rodney's throat, sucking gently while his hand played with a taut nipple. Fingers were scrabbling in his hair and he realized Rodney was trying to pull his head back. He released the soft throat, taking a moment to admire the welt of possession left behind before raising his eyes to meet Rodney's.

"You better not have given me a hickey."

John gave an evil grin. "By the time I'm finished with you, you'll look so well and truly fucked that people won't need a hickey to know what you've been doing."

"Is that a promise?" Rodney snarked.

John answered by shoving up Rodney's t-shirt and biting down on one tantalizing nipple, enjoying Rodney's gasp of mingled pleasure and pain before soothing the abused flesh with a swipe of his tongue. His hand wandered over the softer planes of Rodney's stomach, teasing at the button and fly of his pants before diving inside to rub over the already hard column of flesh through the thin cotton boxers. Twisting quickly, John managed to get his head down to that level, mouthing the head of the firm erection and sucking the precome through the material.

Rodney's hands were back in his hair, alternately tugging and pushing as if he could not decide if he wanted more or less of this passion-filled torture. He was whimpering now, which was a far more exciting sound than the whining John had come to anticipate on missions. When he was certain he had Rodney right on the edge of orgasm, John pulled back, enjoying the sight of Rodney wide-eyed in desperate need and panic.

"What are you..? Don't stop. You can't...Not now."

"I recall promising you a picnic, music, a little heavy petting...and now..?"

"Bastard!"

"Now, now, Rodney. That's no way to talk to the man who's just wined and dined you."

John sat up and began packing up the picnic items, biting his lower lip to prevent himself from chortling at the indignant mumbling coming from his companion. Rodney was far less resistant when John offered him a hand up and then held onto it tightly as they headed back to the transporter booth but Rodney wriggled his hand free when they reached the more public areas on Atlantis, following John on the short walk down the corridor to John's quarters. He stepped inside the room and gazed around as if he had never been there before. John smiled, having spent the better part of his afternoon and evening cleaning up the place and changing the sheets, leaving a fresh set on the dresser for later, eagerly anticipating the bed getting very wet and messy.

As soon as the door closed behind Rodney, John pounced, tongue forcing its way into the sarcastic mouth, hands dragging the t-shirt up, ending the kiss only for the time it took to draw the t-shirt over Rodney's head. His hands mapped the exposed flesh, smoothing over planes and curves, along the rib cage before delving into the fine brown curls smattered across the pale chest from the base of his throat to the top of his stomach. He dragged away his hands and mouth only long enough to discard his own t-shirt before continuing the assault on his willing victim. This time, Rodney did not hold back. His fingers, usually so agile and elegant, fumbled with John's pants but eventually got them open and pushed inside. John moaned into the hot mouth as those clever fingers wrapped around his cock, stroking him with perfect, brain-melting pressure.

Somehow, they managed to toe off their shoes, with John silently thanking any and all deities that he'd worn his trainers rather than his boots. Without missing a beat, he stepped out of the pool of material formed by his pants and briefs around his ankles, encouraging Rodney to do likewise before maneuvering them to the bed. They ended up facing each other, hands still wrapped around hard erections, jerking each other off as tongues battled for supremacy in a wet, open-mouthed kiss, gasping as his climax overtook him, sending him soaring right alongside Rodney.

Afterwards, they lay back in contentment, basking in an afterglow that put what he shared with Chaya to shame. Semen-slicked fingers interlaced with his and John squeezed back.

Must be love, he thought, knowing he had the silliest smile ever, plastered on his face but, as he also had the most precious man in two galaxies, probably the whole universe, lying naked and sated in his bed, John really didn't give a damn.

THE END


End file.
